Tag Archives: It’s not just about the candy anymore

Movie Theater Etiquette

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If there is one thing that I love to do, it’s going to the movies to see the latest blockbuster or a little-known indie film. But inevitably there is going to be someone who steals the show with their theater antics. I never thought sitting in a dark room quietly for two hours would be so difficult.

And you thought the Transformers series was getting long…

This weekend Steve and I decided to see The Avengers, which we were both excited to see having followed all of the previous movies. Not surprisingly, there was a whole host of moviegoers bound and determined to drive me crazy; at least I didn’t react like this guy did.

Here is a list of what I think are common courtesy rules of a movie theater that no one else seemed to be aware of on Saturday night:

1. When in a public place, you should keep your shoes or sandals on your feet.

And you should also refrain from putting bare feet anywhere but the floor.

I understand that some theaters have next to nothing when it comes to legroom. I’ll admit it: I am one of those people that puts my feet on the back of the seat in front of me, but only when there is absolutely no one around that seat.

I was amazed when the woman sitting in front of my removed her sandals and propped her legs up on the seat in front of her, directly next to another man’s head. In disgust, I searched for others appalled as me, only to see the couple next to me doing exactly the same thing.

I shuttered.

2. When drinking a carbonated beverage and the cup is empty, it truly is empty.

More pop will not come out no matter how loudly you slurp.

Once again, this was the group directly in front of me, which consisted of the shoeless mother and her young daughter (definitely too young to be in a PG-13 movie). As the daughter polished off the extra-large pop in the first 10 minutes of the movie, she slurped and slurped and slurped, all while looking at her mother to get a reaction. Her mom just laughed.

Oh dear. This is going to be a LONG movie.

Throughout every fight scene and dramatic music sequence, the daughter would leave for a refill, only to do the same routine 20 minutes later. It took all of my inner strength not to take the cup and throw it across the theater.

3. When you spill your candy during a quiet time in the movie, it should all spill onto the tile floor at one time.

Not over the course of the next 15 minutes.

As if the crinkling of the plastic container wasn’t enough, someone in the back row slowly poured their candy onto the floor — 7 Reese’s pieces at a time.

4. Cell phones do not equal flashlights in a movie theater.

First of all, the screen is pretty bright, so you should have no difficulty finding an open seat in a relatively empty theater. There are also lights illuminating the walkways so that you will not surprisingly trip over someone or something.

But when you come to the movie 30 minutes late and decide to sit near the front, please don’t light up your incredibly bright cell phone, shining it on the tops of the seats.

Maybe she was looking for the boogie man hiding behind her seat? I am still not quite sure.

5. If you eat popcorn so loudly it can be heard over the movie soundtrack, you lose your right to eat it behind me.

Loud eaters are one of my pet peeves to begin with, so when someone is munching popcorn in my ear right behind me, there is nothing else that I can focus on.

I turn into The Hulk and it is not a pretty sight.

Who eat so loud?!?

I do not look good in green.

6. Talking has never been acceptable in movie theaters. Don’t start now.

I shouldn’t even have to put this.

It would be too difficult for me to point out all of the examples people talking in normal voices during the movie. Or yelling in the case of the young girl in front of me.

Even though I had all of these distractions during the movie, I still liked it. Quite a bit, actually. There was enough action to keep Steve happy (especially since I didn’t make him go see What to Expect When You’re Expecting instead) and enough humor to keep me from completely losing it.

The best part: I was uber excited to see that Robin Scherbatsky landed a role in the movie.

Legendary!

The Ghosts of Halloween Past

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Halloween has never been my favorite holiday.

Don’t get me wrong: I love candy. Like, a lot.

I’ve just never been too excited when it comes to dressing up. Maybe it’s because I appreciate a well-thought-out costume, not one that consists of very little fabric and/or has some dirty connotation. I’m all about things that make you go, “Huh. Nice costume,” with just a hint of jealousy behind it.

Not that my personally-homemade costumes have ever been something to be jealous of.

EXHIBIT A:

Hey, there's not much I won't do for free food.

Rae as a burrito from Chipotle.

This was from my good-ole’ college days (like they were so long ago). My roommate and I heard that if you dressed up as a burrito that you’d get a free one for lunch.

$$$ of roll of aluminum foil <  $$$ of 2 Chipotle burritos

We were sold.

Turns out, you really only needed to have some sort of tinfoil on your body. Creativity was not appreciated.

But we ate well that day regardless.

EXHIBIT B:

We're off to see the wizard. And by wizard, I mean cafeteria lady.

Here we are, freshman year, newly off to college and excited about the Halloween party hosted by the school. I was Dorothy, of course, because of my hair mostly resembling the character’s locks. Luckily, my roommate’s aunt happened to have these costumes just laying around the house.

Except for Jenni‘s:

I will never live this down. Ever.

Hers was a simple blend of aluminum foil and duct tape, which apparently can get pretty warm when you’re covered in it.

Weird. I would have never guessed.

This was also one of the last times she came to visit me at school. (Not really, but maybe it should have been, for her own safety’s sake.)

But we won first place in the costume contest, which is really all that matters.

Right?

EXHIBIT C:

I wish my mom still made my costumes. It would make live so much easier.

Now, this picture isn’t to show you an embarrassing costume. It is to show you the cool costumes that my mom made for us as kids. This is me and the older-younger brother I have on my grandma’s porch.

We’re pretty darn cute.

And my costumes that I come up with just can’t live up to these.

Although I was  Detroit Lion one year, complete with jersey, cleats, ears, and tail. Still pretty proud of that one…and I probably wouldn’t get laughed at so hard these days for wearing it around.

That’s right, Vikings fans. The Lions finally don’t completely suck. Ha!

EXHIBIT D:

Some of the Wizard crew all grown up. Sort of.

Here is a roommate picture, circa the age where we can enjoy in a few adult beverages in public. Themed again: good angel (not pictured), bad angel, the devil, and a pirate. Not sure how the pirate fit into the theme, but it didn’t require buying a whole new costume, so she was clearly the smartest one of the evening.

Can I just comment on my waist in this picture? It looks so small.

Oh, to be like that again. Now I just use a huge cube to hide that area…(see below)

EXHIBIT E:

I hope none of the neighbor dogs see this...

That’s right.

I dressed up my dog.

Once.

For about 3 minutes before I realized she was frozen solid in shear fear. And it was a mailman costume, so I simply could not resist.

Poor Feta.

Okay, one more, for good measure.

This is getting really old really fast, human.

WHICH BRINGS US TO PRESENT DAY:

NERD ALERT!

The ultimate nerdy couple costume that we could come up with on short notice: the nerd and a Rubik’s cube. The craftsmanship that went into that cube is unprecedented, which should be a dead give away that I had nothing to do with its construction. But I did cut out the squares and glue them on, so that should count for something.

What have I gotten myself into?

There was also talk of making the top of the cube move, which made me quite nervous. The last thing I need is to go to the ER because some body part getting stuck in a giant Rubik’s cube. That would be quite the story to add to my medical record, right next to the time when I accidentally hit The Beast with my hand while playing Wii and was positive that I had broken a small bone when the swelling didn’t go down for 4 days (even though it wasn’t really broken).

True story.

Bonus: when I got sick of wearing a giant cube and not being able to enjoy snacks at the party we went to this weekend, I was able to slip off the cube and instantly become a ninja. So, watch what you say about my costume…you never know where I’ll be hiding.

(And I realize now that my cropping makes me look much larger than Steve, which is not accurate. How unfortunate.)

All in all, as long as I get some candy and don’t have to watch any scary movies, I consider Halloween a positive holiday in my book.