Tag Archives: holidays schmolidays

The Talent I Never Knew I Possessed.

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(Yes, I am aware that it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. I fell into the ever-growing Holiday Black Hole. Sunday is thankfully our last holiday celebration, at least for a few months, so I’m hoping to recover to my former state soon.)

It’s taken me a week to come up with the best way to describe my latest discovery of how truly awesome I am. Not only am I supremely fantastic* and incredibly humble**, but I continue to amaze myself with my variety of talents.

Dancing while driving.

Making a frozen pizza on the Pizzazz.

Watching 12 hours of TV straight.

But last Friday I even managed to shocked myself.

It was the Christmas celebration with my in-laws last Friday night. All of the brothers were there, along with the parentals and even the grandparents. To try something new, my IL’s decided on some festive fare for the occasion.

Fondue.

I love fondue. Cheese. Chocolate. It doesn’t matter. As long I can cover vegetables and/or cookies in it, I love it. And it loves me.

Well, at least I thought it did.

Having 9 people using one pot of oil to cook meat caused quite the issue when it came to space, so I decided to sneak in first and get my bitty piece of pork sizzling first. The rest of the family joined the feast and soon my dinner was ready!

Being logical, I let the metal skewer cool on my plate.

Apparently I’m not logical and/or did not let it cool long enough.

That’s right:

I burned myself while eating fondue.

Another embarrassing talent.

Not only did I burn myself, I burnt my lip. The metal skewer barely came close to my lip, yet somehow I quickly blistered and found myself in pain. But there was no way that I could make a peep…my BILs would never let me live this down. I just stuck to veggies and lukewarm cheese for the rest of the evening.

And while I am fond of weird and sometimes grotesque medical issues, I did not take a picture of my ailment. I did not to subject you to such horror, so I will demonstrate the results in my most favored medium:

Painted pictures.

Now here’s what I look like normally:

Well, at least that’s what I looked like a few years ago. And yes, I cropped Steve out of this picture. I didn’t want you distracted by his stunning good looks.***

And pay no attention to the teeth.

Now here’s what I imagine the injury looked like:

Not too bad, you say?

Oh, you are sadly mistaken.

This is what it felt like it looked like.

So, see, it was horrific. And mortifying.

Why, fondue?

Why do you hate me? How could you hate this face?

*I’m not really that vain.

**Seriously, I’m not.

***This statement is 100% true. Just don’t tell Steve that. It’ll go straight to his head.

Who’s crafty?

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Our friend has been staying with us while she was working a short-term job (relatively) close to our house. We decided that Friday would be a night of  Steve watching a movie while my friend and I crafted.

Or as I like to call it:

Rae burning herself with a hot glue gun.

4 times.

While watching Ryan Reynolds in spandex.

I should not be so easily distracted when crafting.

Mine would look this good if I had patience and didn't have hotdog fingers.

Over Thanksgiving weekend, I spent a day in my mother-in-law’s quilt shop and she taught me how to make zipper daisies. (See picture above. I had help. A lot of it.) My fingers are still recovering from being overly poked. They required a wee bit of sewing and almost every customer that came in to find fabric and such steered clear of my area.

Probably because of the grunting.

I’m really bad at crafting. I take crafting very seriously.

These are super cute and I wanted to make some for people I know, but I didn’t grab zippers from my MIL before I left and I definitely did not have the patience time to sew all of these.

Enter: hot glue gun.

Boom! Crafted.

Next on the list was something that Aly found at Lowe’s, but it anyone asks, we came up with it on our own. We’re just that awesome.

The painting aspect was a bit daunting for the both of us. I can hot glue, but when it comes down to drawing or painting, count me out. Luckily, this little guy only had stripes and dots, both of which took practice but not nearly as difficult as a nose.

The Beast practiced her reasoning skills when her father and Aunt Aly put her kong filled with tasty treats under her mortal enemy.

Why she’s afraid of the clothes basket, we’ll never know.

This puzzle took her a while: pushing it around, hitting it with her paw, howling at us for laughing.

She did push it over to the stairs and tried to go under it while it was hanging over the edge, but then she reached her limit and hip-checked the basket down the stairs.

She’s a genius.

On Saturday we were prepping for our annual holiday party, so Aly and I went in search of sterno light-heater things. Much more difficult to find than you’d imagine.

We took a detour to stop at one of my favorite local stores and saw this.

And I immediately thought of this. Obviously.

I need this penguin. She’s just so darn cute.

And tall.

I texted Steve a picture of the future Ms. Penelope the Penguin.

Rae: I want this.

Steve: I never know if you are kidding or not.

Rae: It depends.

I’m still hoping that Penelope will end up under our tree this Christmas. She’s a poor blind penguin that is just looking for a little love in the cold Minnesota tundra and the best part: she’s even on sale!

Maybe when my short friend comes out to visit before her big move she can convince Steve that Penelope is a responsible investment and could become a family heirloom.

My future offspring are in for a treat: the strangest mother on the block.

And a large metal penguin.

Gobble.

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There are many things I am thankful for:
— Game shows.
— Bacon.
— The Beast’s ability to keep me warm by sitting on my head.
— The Detroit Lions being better than the Minnesota Vikings this year.
— Not having to have surgery this year, unlike some people I know.
— Family, friends, faith, blah blah blah. You know, the usual stuff.