If there is one thing that I love to do, it’s going to the movies to see the latest blockbuster or a little-known indie film. But inevitably there is going to be someone who steals the show with their theater antics. I never thought sitting in a dark room quietly for two hours would be so difficult.
This weekend Steve and I decided to see The Avengers, which we were both excited to see having followed all of the previous movies. Not surprisingly, there was a whole host of moviegoers bound and determined to drive me crazy; at least I didn’t react like this guy did.
Here is a list of what I think are common courtesy rules of a movie theater that no one else seemed to be aware of on Saturday night:
1. When in a public place, you should keep your shoes or sandals on your feet.
And you should also refrain from putting bare feet anywhere but the floor.
I understand that some theaters have next to nothing when it comes to legroom. I’ll admit it: I am one of those people that puts my feet on the back of the seat in front of me, but only when there is absolutely no one around that seat.
I was amazed when the woman sitting in front of my removed her sandals and propped her legs up on the seat in front of her, directly next to another man’s head. In disgust, I searched for others appalled as me, only to see the couple next to me doing exactly the same thing.
2. When drinking a carbonated beverage and the cup is empty, it truly is empty.
More pop will not come out no matter how loudly you slurp.
Once again, this was the group directly in front of me, which consisted of the shoeless mother and her young daughter (definitely too young to be in a PG-13 movie). As the daughter polished off the extra-large pop in the first 10 minutes of the movie, she slurped and slurped and slurped, all while looking at her mother to get a reaction. Her mom just laughed.
Oh dear. This is going to be a LONG movie.
Throughout every fight scene and dramatic music sequence, the daughter would leave for a refill, only to do the same routine 20 minutes later. It took all of my inner strength not to take the cup and throw it across the theater.
3. When you spill your candy during a quiet time in the movie, it should all spill onto the tile floor at one time.
Not over the course of the next 15 minutes.
As if the crinkling of the plastic container wasn’t enough, someone in the back row slowly poured their candy onto the floor — 7 Reese’s pieces at a time.
4. Cell phones do not equal flashlights in a movie theater.
First of all, the screen is pretty bright, so you should have no difficulty finding an open seat in a relatively empty theater. There are also lights illuminating the walkways so that you will not surprisingly trip over someone or something.
But when you come to the movie 30 minutes late and decide to sit near the front, please don’t light up your incredibly bright cell phone, shining it on the tops of the seats.
Maybe she was looking for the boogie man hiding behind her seat? I am still not quite sure.
5. If you eat popcorn so loudly it can be heard over the movie soundtrack, you lose your right to eat it behind me.
Loud eaters are one of my pet peeves to begin with, so when someone is munching popcorn in my ear right behind me, there is nothing else that I can focus on.
I turn into The Hulk and it is not a pretty sight.
I do not look good in green.
6. Talking has never been acceptable in movie theaters. Don’t start now.
I shouldn’t even have to put this.
It would be too difficult for me to point out all of the examples people talking in normal voices during the movie. Or yelling in the case of the young girl in front of me.
Even though I had all of these distractions during the movie, I still liked it. Quite a bit, actually. There was enough action to keep Steve happy (especially since I didn’t make him go see What to Expect When You’re Expecting instead) and enough humor to keep me from completely losing it.
The best part: I was uber excited to see that Robin Scherbatsky landed a role in the movie.