Moon over Minnesota


For some odd reason, growing this human has been the best diet I have ever been on. After 15 weeks, I’m still down 4 pounds from my starting weight, even though I’m quite positive that the jiggle is simply redistributing itself to my front, top and bottom.

Well, I was under that impression until a few days ago at work, when I was reminded that my massive assive still follows behind me no matter where I go.

The weather was warm, so being in a summery mood, I decided to put out more effort than I normally do and shave my legs—for the first time in so long that I am definitely not putting it out into the universe for everyone to see. I’m married. Who am I impressing anymore? Plus, it insulates in the cold winter months.

Anyway, the entire reason for de-hairing was so that I could wear one of my all-time favorite dresses:

Circa June 2011, with a smaller behind (apparently) and my short friend

It has pockets.

So, no explanation needed on why I love it.

I weighed myself at work and shockingly I discovered I was still down those few pounds. I instantly decided that I would celebrate by having pizza for lunch. Obviously.

As I went to sit down, I felt a slow tear move its way up in the rump-region.

My eyes widened.

My mind raced.

What underwear am I wearing?

Oh crap.

I slowly stand and turn so that no one would notice the blinding sight of my pasty patooty, but as I felt around, I was relieved to find that it was only the lining of the dress that had torn.

I still ate an entire pizza for lunch.

Like a slightly torn dress is going to stop me.


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