Pet Peeve #1: Zipper Merge. If I can change, so can you.


Someday I’ll take the pictures of camping off of my camera and put them onto the computer, but I’m not so sure I know when that day is quite yet. I promise I’ll do it. Someday.

So, I decided that while there are many people in the world worse off than myself and diseases to cure and better battles to fight, I still wanted to complain about the little things in life that make me want to scream, vomit, gasp, or all three in a variety of combinations.

While this isn’t my biggest pet peeve, it’s one that I deal with on almost a daily basis:

merging into traffic.

I grew up in Michigan, so I can appreciate the view of “Hey, you’re merging into my lane. YOU have to wait for ME. Deal with it.”

But since moving to Minnesota, I’ve learned to appreciate a new outlook on my fellow commuters by using the “Zipper Merge” technique, especially when stuck in never-ending traffic between the Twin Cities.

Everyday I have to go through the main thoroughfare between Minneapolis and St. Paul, which has been under construction all summer, with no end in sight. Not to mention the government shutdown slowing things down a wee bit.

According to the highly respected and reputable website Wikipedia, Zipper Merging does not exist, which is why most of the population doesn’t believe in it. But MnDOT thinks it does:

“…This ‘take turns’ technique, known as the zipper method, is used when traffic is congested. In this instance, drivers should use both lanes all the way to the designated merge point and then take turns merging.”

Death Glare: you will get it if you don’t let me in.

Wait, that doesn’t look scary enough…it’s just kinda cute.


Horns, angry eyebrows, and badly drawn teeth make anything look scarier.

Even a tiny puppy.

Anyway. Back to the annoyance.

So, when two lanes are turning into one, let me in, you jerk-faces. I guarantee you that you will not get anywhere faster by not letting me in. We’ll actually get through this ridiculous construction quicker.

In fact, I’ll probably just try to cut around you and  s   l   o   w  down, just to teach you the lesson of zipper merging.

Because I’m that nice.

Just because I moved out of Michigan and have accepted the Zipper Merge into my life doesn’t mean I lost my niceness. And by “niceness”, I mean amazing driving skills.

Have I mentioned that I’m quite confident that Steve believes he’s going to be killed every time he rides in the car while I’m driving?


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