For some odd reason, growing this human has been the best diet I have ever been on. After 15 weeks, I’m still down 4 pounds from my starting weight, even though I’m quite positive that the jiggle is simply redistributing itself to my front, top and bottom.
Well, I was under that impression until a few days ago at work, when I was reminded that my massive assive still follows behind me no matter where I go.
The weather was warm, so being in a summery mood, I decided to put out more effort than I normally do and shave my legs—for the first time in so long that I am definitely not putting it out into the universe for everyone to see. I’m married. Who am I impressing anymore? Plus, it insulates in the cold winter months.
Anyway, the entire reason for de-hairing was so that I could wear one of my all-time favorite dresses:
It has pockets.
So, no explanation needed on why I love it.
I weighed myself at work and shockingly I discovered I was still down those few pounds. I instantly decided that I would celebrate by having pizza for lunch. Obviously.
As I went to sit down, I felt a slow tear move its way up in the rump-region.
My eyes widened.
My mind raced.
What underwear am I wearing?
I slowly stand and turn so that no one would notice the blinding sight of my pasty patooty, but as I felt around, I was relieved to find that it was only the lining of the dress that had torn.
I still ate
an entire pizza for lunch.
Like a slightly torn dress is going to stop me.